Sunday, December 2, 2012

Ruth M Parker (1921-2012)

We buried my mother yesterday, a beautiful sunny day in north Texas, next to my father. We were surrounded by family - some who flew in from Ohio, Virginia, North Carolina, and even Alaska - and friends, lots of friends. As must be expected, there were missing faces as well. Some were in the hospital or recovering from recent visits to the hospital; some were simply too distant to make the trip; and others, whom we still miss, led the way for Mom months or years ago. Being able to congregate with these wonderful people yesterday in Arlington to celebrate Mom's life, reminded us gently of all those missing faces who would have been with us had they been able.

I started this post several days ago, collecting a few pictures, then decided not to do a post. Then I didn't know whether I wanted to do a post or not, so I just filed it under "draft" and worked around it. When I opened the file this afternoon I just thought, "How could I not post something about Mom and all the thoughts swirling in my head?"

This is Mom's graduation portrait, taken in 1942 when she graduated from Mercy Hospital School of Nursing in Canton, Ohio. She was too young by six months to take the state board exams for her Registered Nurse certification. As soon as she was old enough, she took and passed her state boards; as soon as she received her RN certification, she started the paperwork to join the Navy Nurse Corps.

The picture above, shot by a friend of theirs in 1944 during their "courtship phase", is of Mom and Dad sitting on the steps of the nurses quarters at the Naval Hospital in Pensacola, Florida. It was Mom's first duty station after basic training; Dad had been in the Marine Corps for a few years and was then in flight training. They met in Pensacola when Dad was hospitalized with a broken leg sustained on a training flight - perhaps you saw the movie. . .

Skip ahead 56 years, 20 of which were spent moving from one Naval or Marine Air Station to another while raising a family of nine children - with all that entails. We more or less left the Marine Corps behind in 1963 (there are no ex-Marines), but raising the family simply got more intense. Among our favorite events during this period were camping trips at Inks Lake State Park with as many of the family who could come. Best friends were more than welcome - for Mom and Dad, "the more the merrier" was the Order of the Day. I've posted this picture from 2000 before, but it's one of my favorites. I asked Mom's permission the first time I posted it because I thought she might be concerned about the state of her hair. She wasn't. She just wanted to know how I "did that to the picture" (and perhaps make me feel good about my photography).

The picture above is probably my favorite portrait - of anyone, anytime - taken at Christmas, 2010, in Karen's living room. Mom loved a party, and more than two people usually constituted a party. She delighted in her children, grandchildren, her many friends, and even most people she encountered casually. She loved biographies of pretty much anyone, important or not, always interested in the circumstances that carry people along.

This last shot was taken over 21 years ago, shortly after we buried Dad in 1991. We appear to be a remarkably happy group considering the circumstances, but I think it simply reflects the knowledge each of us had that we were truly blessed. Our patriarch may have passed on but, as we have been reminded regularly over the years, he now resides within each of our hearts. Our matriarch has now passed, but I have no doubt she too will reside within us and continue to bless our lives.




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